sharpless

tenghostdads:

Updated Parks & Recreation Intro (x)

humansofnewyork
humansofnewyork:

“Those are my parents. They’ve been married 55 years. They met when my dad was visiting Mexico as a young man. He saw my mom at a party, but he couldn’t speak a word of Spanish, so they just sort of looked at each other and giggled. Everything was very formal back then, so he asked a mutual friend to obtain permission for him to contact her. My mom gave my dad her address, and when he went back to America, he would write her a letter every few days. He’d write the entire letter in English, and then get a Spanish dictionary and translate it word by word. My mom says the letters barely made sense. But after he’d written many letters, he went back to Mexico and they went on their first date. There were adult chaperones and everything, they didn’t even kiss or touch. It was all very formal. And after a few dates, they decided to marry. Her family thought she was crazy to marry this weird American who kept writing the letters. But she said she knew he was the one. Get this—- just two years ago, we were all visiting Italy. And I busted the two of them making out in a corner. I snapped a photo. Dad’s got Mom pinned up against a wall and he’s macking her hard.”

hey so, tinder, huh?

humansofnewyork:

“Those are my parents. They’ve been married 55 years. They met when my dad was visiting Mexico as a young man. He saw my mom at a party, but he couldn’t speak a word of Spanish, so they just sort of looked at each other and giggled. Everything was very formal back then, so he asked a mutual friend to obtain permission for him to contact her. My mom gave my dad her address, and when he went back to America, he would write her a letter every few days. He’d write the entire letter in English, and then get a Spanish dictionary and translate it word by word. My mom says the letters barely made sense. But after he’d written many letters, he went back to Mexico and they went on their first date. There were adult chaperones and everything, they didn’t even kiss or touch. It was all very formal. And after a few dates, they decided to marry. Her family thought she was crazy to marry this weird American who kept writing the letters. But she said she knew he was the one. Get this—- just two years ago, we were all visiting Italy. And I busted the two of them making out in a corner. I snapped a photo. Dad’s got Mom pinned up against a wall and he’s macking her hard.”

hey so, tinder, huh?

humansofnewyork
humansofnewyork:

“She said ‘I love you and I want to spend my life with you.’ Then ten days later, we sat in a diner, and she said ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore.”“What was your happiest moment with her?”“The happiest times were just little moments of exuberance. Like when she jumped on my back because something swam up against her in the ocean. Or when we danced in the kitchen when the pizza arrived”

i am scared that i am this woman

humansofnewyork:

“She said ‘I love you and I want to spend my life with you.’ Then ten days later, we sat in a diner, and she said ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
“What was your happiest moment with her?”
“The happiest times were just little moments of exuberance. Like when she jumped on my back because something swam up against her in the ocean. Or when we danced in the kitchen when the pizza arrived”

i am scared that i am this woman

himandhertour

WE CAN’T WAIT.

himandhertour:

OH HI. Dave here. Barbara and I are so stoked for this tour. For those unfamiliar with us, here are some dumb videos of our dumb stand-up. All the dates are listed in our “Tour Dates” section up top there, and we’ll have ticket links and facebook event links for all of them soon. See you soon!

I’m going on tour with Dave Ross for the first two weeks of August. Come laugh at us, will you?